I am completely overjoyed that this week is over and now I get to lay around with my husband and son. I've been having a hard time getting up and around the last couple of days. Feeling really mopey and don't want to get myself ready for the day, it is probably just because it has been rainy and dreary outside all week. Well today I woke up with much brighter thoughts and a smile on my face. I've been noticing that there is so much I do to get ready for each day. I want my makeup to be perfect, my hair to be flawless, and what I wear to always look good. Well today it suddenly looked ridiculous to me. If I know who I am and that I'm a good person, why do I need so much preparation for each day??? I was born in Olean, NY, which you wouldn't know unless you saw it because you have to magnify the map about 3 times for it to even come up. It isn't city, there isn't anything city about it, everyone knows each other and the mountains are breathtaking. I loved country music and I loved George Strait, at the age of two there is a picture of me in a cowboy hat kissing the screen with him on it. I never kept my hair braided, I never liked to dress up, and if I didn't have hair down to my butt with how messy I was you'd think I was a boy. That's who I am, I'm a natural tomboy girl who doesn't care what anyone thinks and will never change herself for anyone. Nowadays, it is very hard not to care what others think, our society is very dependent on having the right things and needing money for fulfillment. I think sometimes that the woman I have become falls into believing those things to and that the natural me, with nothing done on the outside isn't good enough for me. I want to start doing more soul searching for myself, I think it is very important for me to remember where I come from and who I am and that I'm good enough, without the makeup, the hair products, without any of the stuff society thinks make me worthy. Friends, the most important part of making yourself the best you is knowing who you are and that you love yourself. Right now, I don't know if I love myself enough and that is just part of my journey. I need to go over who I am and what I have and letting that be enough. So for today, I'm going to spend the day with two people who love me and always make me feel better when I'm scared I'm not enough. My husband who thinks I'm the most beautiful woman in the world and my son who loves me because I'm a good mother. When I feel like I fail at everything I do, I still know that I am a great mother. :)
Have a good friday everyone!