Having anxiety Independence Day is not always easy, what would be relaxing and nice to watch fireworks with your family it leaves me with a stressed out mind and feeling like something bad is going to happen. I get these attacks of overwhelming sadness and fear that the loud noise and crowds of people trigger, I wish I could walk outside and not want to rock in a corner every time a firework goes off. I have chosen to be unmedicated though, so the magical Zanax I chose for occasions like firework shows is gone and I have to find another way to have faith and relax. God is my medicine. I view worship as a way to let go and really give it all to God. I used to go to Baptist Church and I loved it, but something was missing, something that I couldn't fully let go because of. I noticed that when I was standing in the sanctuary with only a piano and one voice singing that I wasn't getting happy enough, God has done so much for me and everytime I think about how strong of a person he has made me I just want to jump and sing. I needed guitars and drums and more happiness because the calm and collected hymns to me weren't getting it all out. What is worship to you? Worship to me is anything thats real, it is not singing words you don't believe or only wanting to do it one day out of the week, it is an everyday thing, singing to God is something I do with all of my heart. If you don't know that love, I would encourage you to seek and find it because his word says that when you find him he will never let you go, never let you fall, never forsake or abandon you, he will give you strength, he will give you peace, and he will help you through ANYTHING. His word is not written to us, it is written for us and the word of God is the greatest fuel in this world, it can help you through and over anything that is put in your way, it can turn a mountain into a grain of sand you can easily step over. When it gets hard to endure this life when I used to break down and lose hope, I try to find a verse and pull more strength out to make it through. This was today's verse:
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.
Now I am going to put a song at the end of this post that will be in my worship this morning. Time for me to go and clean and sing my heart out before I start the day. Have a good day everyone:)