I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want.
Fill in this blank, I'm not _____ enough.
Are you not pretty enough? Are you not happy enough? Are you not successful enough? Now realize that there are infinite possibilities of what you can fill that blank with, I know I could put at least a million different words that fit there. The worst part about that blank is that since I was a child that statement comes into my thoughts each and every day. My dad had a way of making you feel not enough, and as I got older I realized that even though he walked from my life the blank and the words I could put in it stayed with me. I try so hard not to feed into being negative minded or to keep myself from thinking about the past, but depression can cloud over any hope of being happy. Now being pregnant and often having emotional breakdowns I realize that I think I'm not good enough on a daily basis and it seems that no matter what I do to try not to think about my weaknesses and flaws they take over my mind. Here are some of my words for the blank; I'm not strong enough to make it through my financial, mental, and emotional problems. I'm not secure enough to be unshaken by my fears. I'm not brave enough to get over my anxiety and have the strength to leave the house. I'm not successful enough, at all, because I still have no idea what I want to do with my life. When I get this way, I keep going and going until I bury myself in endless depression, and then I'm in a hole so deep that I can't dig my way out. All that helps when I get that way is knowing all that I am and that ENOUGH is just a word, there is no long list of things that I have to be, achieve, and the person that I am is who I choose to be and that person may not be this or that, but that I, just as you are, are wonderfully and beautifully made. What do you consider to be enough? Money, Success, a career, beauty, everyone has a different description of what they consider to be enough. So here is what we all must do, we must accept that just like the word normal, enough is out of the picture and is not worth striving for, at least not enough in other's eyes. "Normal is a cycle on a washing machine." Remember that and also remember that we decide who we are and that no matter how many words we can put in that blank, we're all perfect and God makes no mistakes. "It is God who arms me with strength, And makes my way perfect. Psalm 18:32"