I know that in the last couple of years I have grown leaps and bounds. I have built up myself from being someone completely plagued by depression and trauma and I know today that I am no longer a VICTIM and am a SURVIVOR. Every once and a while though with my PTSD I'm caught in a patch of flashbacks that make me fall ten steps behind where I am. I'm very thankful that I now am a strong woman and have found ways out of the past and move confidently onto thinking in a more positive way. Every day is a blessing for me now, I know that I never have to go back to those days which makes it easier not to think about them. Lately, more than ever I have noticed a change within myself, if I'm sad or mad or any emotion other than happiness I turn straight to God. I have been praying more than ever and things have continuously been getting better. This morning I had a breakdown. My husband and I are tomorrow on Valentine's Day celebrating our 2 year anniversary. We were low on money and because of it we were not going to be able to go out anywhere until payday. When crying my eyes out this morning and not knowing what to do, my husband texted me and told me we had gotten our taxes. This of course meant that while I was praying to God about everything upsetting me including financial worries had been swept away before I even said amen. The differences in my life between the low place I was before and today are incredible, I now longer feel in the dark and that God is not holding on to me. I know that when I speak to him, he listens. Whatever we are all going through, whether your troubles are physical, emotional, financial, or falls under a completely different category persevere through. Keep praying and don't ever feel that you can't be freed of it. Even if it does not change instantly, if it is in his plan he will make it be. Everything happens for a reason and if it doesn't happen and it doesn't get better than there is also a reason. The point is that no matter what you go through, turn to God. Don't let your worries and troubles overcome you and get you down. You are never down when you are tucked under the wings of Jesus, never truly. So don't lose hope and don't run in the wrong direction. When we have a breakdown, we need to run straight into his arms, everywhere else is down the wrong path. I'm starting this day out right with wise words from a strong woman to make me ready for whatever day I go through.
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop and look fear in the face. You are about to stop and say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' Life is about doing the things you cannot do."