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Overcomer: On Fear

Do you struggle from fear or anxiety? I have never posted about what I fear and it is because if you knew half of the things I am scared of you would think I'm completely insane, but I'm coming to terms with the fact that unless you get your fears out there then they stay in your head and torture you every moment of every day. So just for kicks, I'm going to put a list of my completely ridiculous fears. Bear with me-Some of these are purely at times of extreme anxiety. 
1) Fear of water and anything in water- at a young age I was nearly drowned by my father and have never recovered.

No Place Like Home.

Yesterday was a day where I let my anger get the best of me. I said things I shouldn't have, acted a way that doesn't show a person moving forward, and all I can do is think of now because tomorrow is already over. This morning when waking up, I wanted a better start to the day so to try and bring myself out of anger and frustration I of course turned to my music. When I let my anger gets the best of me, all I imagine is my Grandma in my head, in heaven, saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Leave your worries.

So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. -Matthew 6:34

Tonight when putting Riley to bed this verse was the one to talk about in his Everyday Blessings. That is the book we read one page of every night before he goes to sleep, all I say is pick out one book and usually that book is the one he brings me. I know this book is supposed to be for your young children, but sometimes it amazes me how the words are perfect at the end of my day as well.

Say what You Need To

Lately I've had a lot of breakdowns, I’m going through postpartum depression, it started right after I had Abel and now he’s a month old and I seem to still be taken over by it. My husband took me out and instead of going where he said we were, he drove me all the way to Oklahoma and took me to blow money at the casino, we didn't have the money to do it, but he wanted me to feel better and wanted me to get out of the house. I have this issue with my PTSD where I get this closed walls feeling and it is followed by unbelievable depression and anxiety attacks.

You're Good Enough.

I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want.

Fill in this blank, I'm not _____ enough. 
Are you not pretty enough? Are you not happy enough? Are you not successful enough? Now realize that there are infinite possibilities of what you can fill that blank with, I know I could put at least a million different words that fit there. The worst part about that blank is that since I was a child that statement comes into my thoughts each and every day.

Sustaining your Trust.

In this world we strive to be the best. It is a neverending struggle, we always have a mountain to climb or a way that we can strengthen ourselves and make ourselves better. "Sustain-to strengthen or support." Have you ever heard someone say, "my challenges are too much for God or I'm unfixable or I'm too broken that I can't rebuild?" It amazes me when I hear these statements, I have had doubts that God could bring me back to life, but we need to remember that the God we are afraid can't fix us, created the universe and sustains it within his hands. If he can handle all of that mess and all the pain and struggles in this world, how could you think that he couldn't hold you in his hands? God is a powerful sustainer. He not only wants you to trust in him with all your heart and soul, he also wants to keep strengthening and supporting you through your struggles. When storms come in this life often we blame God and run from him, but when these times come to us God wants us to let him keep us strong. But if your life isn't centered around him and you don't go to him for help and strength, how can he help? "He is before all things, and in him all things hold together." Colossians 1:17. When your life is falling apart at the seams, where do you turn? Because unless your life is held together by God and unless you let him sustain you it is bound to spin out of control. So here is my short challenge to you, Let Go Of The Reins and Let Him Sustain You. He can not strengthen you if you fight him every step of the way so for today I want you to think about taking a step back and trusting that if you put your faith in him to hold everything in your life together that he will keep strengthening and supporting your relationship with him and your life. Just a little thought of the day, Goodnight friends. 

I'm Having A Hard Time.

I think the important thing in life to remember is that we are going to fall and it is not our focus to never fall down or lose control of our lives, but the important thing is how well we rise from our falling, how we pick up the pieces and move forward. Anxiety makes me feel like I'm stuck in quick sand, like I can't move or face anyone, and I cry my eyes sometimes before being able to leave the house. The scenarios of everything bad that could happen while I'm outside run through my mind and make it so I can't even walk out the door.

3 Verses to Happiness

I haven't blogged in well over a month, I have missed putting my thoughts out to you and I'm sorry for those who have needed a little inspiration and have had nothing to read. Being pregnant with our second child this pregnancy hasn't been a breeze and I needed to sit back and get away from all forms of technology for a while. But, regardless I know that it's just as important for me to get my crazy thoughts out as it is for someone to randomly search motivational and have the perfect words to make their day so I need to find time for myself and for all of you.

Letting Go of Anger

Today when browsing around facebook I came across something a good friend of mine posted on her wall, something I feel needs to be shared. I'm not sure where it was found and I did not write it myself, but whoever did helped me out today. I was pretty anxious all night and didn't sleep very well. I woke up today feeling about as drained as I did before going to bed. I had a terrible feeling in my stomach and could not figure out why. I was worried about everything under the sun, just rapid thoughts of depression and anxiety.

From Fearful to Hopeful.

When tucking my three year old in, I had a hectic day and read him three books, but forgot his prayer. He called me back into his room and asked me for a prayer and very sweetly said, "Pray the thunder will go away." We are under a tornado watch, flash flood warning, and thunderstorm warning and to put it lightly my little boy does not care for thunder, in fact he screams, cries, and panics. I try to comfort him, but while comforting him tonight I realized that at times of fear or discomfort I react alike to my three year old.
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